Thursday, May 8, 2014

christie-in-real-life:

niallimlegal:

the white house released this video on sexual assault that actually targets men, telling them not to rape, rather than telling women not to be raped. please watch this.

This is so fucking important, that I can’t even start to describe the happiness I get from finally seeing a major world government making a video that doesn’t tell women to not get raped, but instead tells men to not rape & to stop rape in the first place.

This right now, should be across Tumblr like a wildfire. It should be trending on Twitter and Facebook. This is good news. This is great news. This is, for once, a positive step towards educating people on a fucking huge scale about sexual assault.

This isn’t a solution. Rape culture isn’t gone. We can’t all just stand around and pat ourselves on the back saying, “We did it guys! We made the video! Job done.” - but for the first time in my memory, society is beginning to actively change its broken perspectives from the top level down. This is great. This is good news. This is a start.

This is fucking hope.

Thursday, April 17, 2014
If men didn’t want to be assumed rapists, perhaps they should stop dressing like them. They’re practically begging for it. Also, men that don’t want to be thought of as rapists really shouldn’t be out late at night!
That’s when women are out and about, it’s just not safe and at that point they’re bringing it upon themselves.
eliza (via anarcha-pie)
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Bring consent out of the bedroom. I think part of the reason we have trouble drawing the line “it’s not okay to force someone into sexual activity” is that in many ways, forcing people to do things is part of our culture in general. Cut that shit out of your life. If someone doesn’t want to go to a party, try a new food, get up and dance, make small talk at the lunchtable—that’s their right. Stop the “aww c’mon” and “just this once” and the games where you playfully force someone to play along. Accept that no means no—all the time. The Pervocracy: Consent culture. (via notemily)

thefrozenhedgehog:

pragnacious:

scifantasy:

airagorncharda:

This hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m still feeling a little nauseous after this realization.

I also put it on DA

This is a wonderful presentation. I just had to add these:

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Don’t ever let anyone tell you that gender egalitarianism isn’t possible among humans, or that our species’ “natural” state is one of gender oppression.

Causal reminder that fields of study like anthropology have been heavily influenced by the ideology of the patriarchal, heterosexist white supremacist power structure. 

"Forced sexual intercourse is almost unheard of because of the respect females command and because the taboo is so strong”

Thursday, March 6, 2014 Friday, December 13, 2013
lovemeuntilyourheartbursts:

rosefire:

gaywitch-practisingabortion:

situationalstudent:

purplespacecats:

professorbutterscotch:

kiskolee:

THIS.

I have never thought about it in this context
that’s actually really, really creepy.

I… fuck.

Yeah, basically.

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

^:(

lovemeuntilyourheartbursts:

rosefire:

gaywitch-practisingabortion:

situationalstudent:

purplespacecats:

professorbutterscotch:

kiskolee:

THIS.

I have never thought about it in this context

that’s actually really, really creepy.

I… fuck.

Yeah, basically.

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

^:(

(Source: bigfatphallusy)

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

stalkofwheat:

cantcatchthesloth:

this whole time I thought it was my fault for not saying no

I like that they’re gender neutral

(Source: business-witch)

Tuesday, October 22, 2013
A friend of mine was recently cornered in her building doorway, late at night, by a total stranger who “just wanted to take her out for a drink”. She said “No” several times, in increasing alarm, and finally he grabbed her arm and asked “Why not?”. She said, “Because you’re obviously not listening when I say no right now, so I can’t expect you to listen to anything else I say no to.”

To her total shock, he looked appalled, let go of her, apologized, and left. As far as she could tell, it had not occurred to him that cornering a stranger, grabbing her arm, and insisting she go get a drink with him might be seen as the sort of thing a rapist would do.
from the comments @ #481: My parents acquired a friend for me (with a gross, moldy congealed side of stalking). | CaptainAwkward.com (via notemily)
Thursday, October 10, 2013

alisonwonderlandx0:

this is really powerful

(Source: nicolasrefn)

Monday, September 30, 2013

(Source: edgebug)

Friday, September 27, 2013
Here’s an important thing: You will never be owed sex. At any time. From anyone. There aren’t enough favors or good deeds you can do, and there will never be a large enough donation you could make in the Morality Bank to guarantee future sex. Do good things or be nice to a woman because they’re the things you want to and should do, but remember that one of the most important aspects of gettin’ all up in them guts is not believing that said guts are yours for the up-gettin’-in by right. Daniel O’Brien (via cracked)
Tuesday, September 3, 2013

pterocera:

Violence & Silence: Jackson Katz, Ph.D at TEDxFiDiWomen …

And that, gentlemen, is what we mean when we talk about rape culture.

(Source: exgynocraticgrrl)

Friday, June 28, 2013

mr-finch:

Lindy West: If Comedy Has No Lady Problem, Why Am I Getting So Many Rape Threats?

stfuconservatives:

Oh goodie, you guys. We get to do the “no but for real, rape jokes aren’t funny and saying that doesn’t threaten your freedom of speech” runaround again. This time, Jezebel’s Lindy West is caught in the crossfire: she had the audacity to go on TV and say rape jokes aren’t funny, so naturally, the internet has responded by calling her names, threatening to rape her, and saying she’s too fat/ugly/lesbionic/man-hating to get raped.

I lost a lot of followers when I said Tosh shouldn’t have made a rape joke. And I’m prepared to lose followers over this issue again. Do. Not. Care. The facts are these:

  • The comedy industry has a serious problem with representation by women.
  • People in the comedy industry - Louis CK on The Daily Show, W. Kamau Bell on Totally Biased - think feminists are anti-comedy because we object to forcing rape survivors to laugh at their jokes.
  • Somehow every fucking person in America becomes a Constitutional scholar when they get challenged on telling rape jokes. “What about my freedom of speech?” The First Amendment starts with “the government shall make no law…” which means that unless someone proposes a law against rape jokes you can go ahead and shut the fuck up.

Here’s the thing: There is no comedy slippery slope from saying “rape jokes aren’t OK” to there being NO MORE JOKES EVER AGAIN. We’re not saying don’t joke about murder or the Holocaust because you know what? Those things are taken seriously. Rape is not. Look at the rape statistics in the military, in America, in the world. Look at how rape is used as a tool of power against women. Look at how women are punished and demeaned with rape. Look at the dearth of resources for survivors. There are no museums to rape survivors. There are no monuments commemorating its victims. There are no walls with victims’ names carved in stone. Its victims are everywhere, and silenced, and taunted, and second-guessed, and dismissed. When people start telling the families of murder victims “but some people find the idea of murder sexy,” we’ll talk about murder jokes.

We don’t want you to joke about rape because joking is the only time you ever talk about rape. And it’s very, very rarely a joke about rape culture (which are allowed, even by us evil laughter-hating feminazis), and much more often a joke about someone you’d like to rape, or someone who deserves to get raped, or using “rape” as a funny verb because it’s a funny word to say. It usually triggers memories for people who went through a traumatic event and had no recourse against the person who perpetrated it or the society that all but encouraged it. Why would you do that on purpose? What’s funny or edgy about that? It’s lazy comedy.

So, again: stop joking about rape. Stop saying that feminists - who have almost zero representation at movie studios, TV executive boardrooms, comedy stand-up spots, and nighttime television - are threatening the comedy industry by saying a small percentage of the jokes are aggressively unfunny. Stop telling victims they have to laugh at your bad “jokes.” Just. Stop.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.

If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”

On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.

The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.

There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?

Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.

This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.

an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)

HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.

Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.

(via lil-ith)

Printing this out on flyers and dropping it from the sky

(via therapsida)

(Source: lostgrrrls)

Monday, June 24, 2013