Intent is Everything

bisexual-community:

bisexualmind:

Consider this the FAQ for this Tumblr. Most of the questions I get can be answered by reading the links below.

Definitions of bisexuality:

• What is bisexuality?
• More than one: Robyn Ochs’ definition
• What does it mean to be bisexual?
• Bisexuals defined
• Bisexual manifesto
• Symbolism of the bi pride flag

Etymology, early theories about bisexuality and misconceptions about “bi = two”:

• “Psychosexual hermaphrodites”
• Bisexuality: from plants to people
• “Being Bisexual Means That You’re Only Attracted to Two Genders. Bi Means Two. Two Genders.”
• One thing I am really tired of talking about
• “Language changes over time, it’s not static”

Comparing and contrasting bisexuality and pansexuality:

• Bisexual and pansexual and if there’s a difference (and part 2 and 3)
• Some differences and similarities between bisexuality and pansexuality
• “How would you explain the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?”
• Can someone explain to me the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality in a non-aggressive way?
• “Care to explain?”

Identifying as bisexual vs. pansexual:

• Why I identify as bisexual and not pansexual
• RitchandFamous: Bisexual v. pansexual
• “I like ‘bisexual.’”
• “My identity is mine to define.”
• “Acknowledge and respect the way people identify.”
• You do not get to define my identity for me.
• “Please never tell other people what they can identify as.”
• “Please don’t take a giant dump on my identity.”
• How to correct people when they get your sexual orientation wrong

Bisexuality and accusations of binarism:

• Words, binary and biphobia, or: why “bi” is binary but “FTM” is not
• “If you insist on referring to bisexuals as people who reinforce the gender binary, you are being biphobic.”
• “Clever, subtle biphobia”
• People who use binarist language

Very Important. Everyone will want to read and bookmark this.

bisexual-community:

The backlash against “fake” bisexuals is actually incredibly biphobic.

loveandasteadyhand:

Not to mention problematic in a whole bunch of other ways.

Let’s start by by stating the obvious. People experiment when it comes to sexuality. And that is okay. Sometimes that experimentation includes exploring having various kinds of contact with various genders. And as long as that experimentation is done respectfully and honestly, there’s nothing wrong with it. No, kissing someone of the same gender while not being a perfect six on the Kinsey scale does not count as dishonest or disrespectful. Furthermore, I don’t understand this idea that it is generally disrespectful to kiss or sleep with someone that you have no intention of pursuing a long-term relationship with (just as long as you don’t actually pretend to be interested in a long-term relationship). I really don’t think we hold straight people or monosexual gays and lesbians to the same standard.

Furthermore, queer (and genuinely questioning - which many “fake bisexuals” are) people are never responsible for homophobia and biphobia. If you identify as a lesbian and feel like “fake bisexuals” are preventing straight people from taking you seriously, you should probably blame homophobic straight people. Also, people should not have to feel confined into narrow boxes around sexuality just to appeal to the sensitivities of homophobes.

Also, you probably have no idea who is and isn’t a “fake” bisexual. Yesterday, I was talking with a friend of mine; she’s been married to a man for 16 years, but identifies as bi. She said she often feels really out of place in queer spaces; she doesn’t “read” as queer, so people make all these assumptions about her. This is hardly uncommon. When you act like you have the right to exclude people who you don’t deem “queer enough”, you create a community that’s hostile to large groups of people.

There should definitely be space to discuss how the media capitalizes on a very narrow view of queer people’s sexuality, but attacking people for being sexually fluid in the “wrong” way is not the way to do it.

I generally feel like bisexuality gets a lot of disrespect, as something of a “joke” sexuality for people “too indecisive” to make up their minds. One example that comes to mind is actually from Glee, which is a problematic show in many ways, but I’m specifically thinking of the episode (a quick Google search shows me that it’s the one called “Blame It on the Alcohol”) in which Blaine, one of the two gay characters, drunkenly kisses Rachel, obviously not someone of the same sex. He then starts questioning (briefly) whether he really is gay, and even says to his supposedly accepting, open-minded, out-and-proud gay friend Kurt that maybe he’s bisexual. To which Kurt replies with, “Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel normal.”

In general, there needs to be a much better promotion of bisexuality, and intermediate sexualities that don’t have neat labels. Experimenting but ultimately deciding you’re heterosexual does not make you a horrible, fake person. It makes you human. Your sexuality isn’t something that needs to fit into a set of prepackaged, well-defined parameters. We really need to start, as an entire culture, meaning it when we tell children to be themselves and accept others, without restricting it to “be yourself as long as it fits into a neat box” and “accept others as long as they can clearly define who they are and how they feel.”

(via fuckyeahsexeducation)

This! This! This! It’s also ‘slut shaming’, classicism and/or racism as well as (frequently) anti-woman disguised as political correctness.

(Source: bravedancing)