The urbanization of Gay that started rolling after World War 2, while it has benefited us as Queers, has not really happened for, or specifically benefited Bisexuals in a comparable way. And no wonder! What’s the point of migrating to a “Gay City” if you are going to face the same stereotyping and rejection that you can get just as easily in Podunk? Why not just keep your head down and install new drapes in your closet?
If the rejection of Bisexuality by large elements in the Gay/Lesbian Community makes us look smaller by keeping us in the closet (and here I mean both the straight closet that we all start in and the gay closet where we give up and just identify as ‘Anything But Bisexual’), then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Where’s the community to come out to? Nowhere. So I won’t come out, then, I can manage my feelings of threat better by remaining isolated.” Then along comes the next person, who can’t find the Bisexual Community either …
” Eponymous Fliponymous in Bisexual Identity Development, or, You’re Out Of Your Box (via bialogue-group)
Please check your own privileges at the door: Sometimes we don’t have to look too far to find the people who persecute members of the LGBTQ+ Community(s). Be honest. How many of these have you used? And how many of these have been used against you?
Dear lesbian friend who shall remain nameless,
When bisexual women come on to you, they are playing “tease the lesbian” and being “homophobic straight girls”.
When bi women don’t come on to you (and/or have too many male partners), they are “straight bisexuals”.
How, pray tell, does one prove to you that they are queer?
Love,
The Token Bi Friend.
(Source: bravedancing)
Advice Columnist Smacks Down Biphobe: Dear Lady A: Skeptical about the B
DEAR LADY A: The people I know who claim they’re bi are attention-seeking and creepy. I honestly think, of the “bisexuals” I know, the guys are just gays who can’t emotionally handle being gay, and the women are trying to keep potential boyfriends interested with the promise of threesomes. Are actual bisexuals even real? If so, where are they hiding?
~~ Real Homo, Skeptical About The B in LGBT
DEAR DOUBTING HOMO: I’m not hiding and I’m bisexual, so your statement is really more about your own mistrust, isn’t it? It is the worst kind of queer self-sabotage to imply that a sexuality simply cannot be, because you can’t personally imagine it. It’s also ironic. Normally, I have a special contempt for assholes who attempt to inform me that my bisexuality is an urban myth promoted by terrified queens or an affectation I employ to impress my boyfriends. But I will try to exercise patience with you. I will even try to see it from your perspective for a moment.
To pretend like some haven’t used bisexuality as a “gateway drug” to gay or a boy-bewitching sexual tactic, would be disingenuous. Yes, there are folks who, for reasons including self-delusion, hipster trend-grubbing, or maybe just an attempt to earn better money at the stripper pole, might be bisexual pretenders. There are also straight pretenders and gay pretenders, but that doesn’t make you any less gay, does it, sir? And those gay pretenders, by the way, are sometimes boys and girls who love both boys and girls, but felt so unfairly judged by members of their own LGBT community that they actually went back into the bi closet by “picking a side.”
But for the most part, people who call themselves bi, flexible, curious or any other similar designation, are telling you the truth. You know how I know? Because it’s hard to be bi. Society immediately thinks the boys are lying and the girls are sluts, they’re queer but they’re not, they’re straight but they’re not, and they are generally just assigned the convenient homo or hetero sexuality that happens to coincide with their most current partner. They’re also some of the least supported queers in terms of organized help and education … And that’s not fun. So they must have a damned good reason (like the fact that they’ve realized they don’t give a fuck what you or society thinks they ought to be) for standing up and saying who they really are. Just like you had a damned good reason for telling the world who you really are, sir.
So, in answer to your question: Yes, bisexuals are real, and yes, they’re sometimes hiding in your ranks, and could possibly be one of your closest friends or lovers. Being fearful of something you don’t understand and can’t control is scary, isn’t it? On the bright side, now you know how homophobes feel.
I’m bi. No lie. Get used to it.
Lady A is a headmistress with an emphasis on head. She may even spank you. But only if you like that kind of thing. She can be found in the Chicago Phoenix, on Facebook, Twitter as well as all the best places to see and be seen (and sometimes even do), in Chicago.
A Massachusetts high school has set off a national free speech debate after a student was reprimanded for wearing a T-shirt that proclaimed, "All the Cool Girls Are Lesbians."
Currently, 56% say that an “All the cool girls are lesbians” t-shirt is inappropriate.
Tumblrbomb to show that “lesbian” isn’t a swearword, please?
](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0amqzfUGg1qak0qdo1_500.jpg)
[Picture of X all the Y meme; guy is wearing a pansexual pride shirt; text reads, “Love ALL the genders!”]
(via technobecian)
Being Bi in a Gay World
“Discrimination sucks. This is not revelatory, by any means, nor is it novel, nor is it necessarily unexpected. And yet, when it happens, it never fails to feel like a sucker punch to your smiling, unsuspecting face.”
one of the creator’s of the webcomic Jesus Loves Lesbians, To, Maria Burnham has a new article in the Huffington Post’s Bisexual page (found under their “Gay Voices” section). Very exciting. Check it out if you want :)
I've spent ten years being invisible
Listen.
I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I’m in college now, and I’m able to be more open and involved in the LGBT community.
I’m not sure if it’s because a few hateful and ignorant comments in recent months have sent me over the edge.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve always felt this way, and I’ve just now gained the courage and words necessary to voice my opinion.
But I have something to say, and you’re all gonna listen.
I am bisexual.
I have always been bisexual, and, as current evidence suggests, I will always be bisexual.
I stopped thinking guys had cooties in about third grade, when I was nine years old.
I remember falling for a boy who attended my church [and still does], and trying to find a way to make him love me.
I also really, really adored my third grade teacher. I had no idea what I was feeling at the time because it seemed like the same kind of attraction I had for the boy at my church, but that was impossible, because I couldn’t be straight and gay at the same time, right?
I remember asking my mom if I was gay for really caring about a girl, and she said no. I was relieved, for awhile, at least.
Over the years, I had more attractions, both for guys and for girls, although I didn’t realize my connections with the girls were crushes at the time.
Then middle school happened, I started wearing all black and hanging out with the “mall rats” at the local mall arcade, and I started hearing the term “bisexual” floating around.
At that point in time, among that crowd, everyone claimed to be bi. It was the “cool” thing, I guess; it was a way for kids who wanted to revolt against society to revolt even further. I played around with the label a bit, but it was for the wrong reasons, so I didn’t feel like it fit me. Then again, I didn’t feel “straight,” either. I knew deep down, at the time, I belonged to the Q in LGBTQ, but admitting out loud that I was questioning seemed so impossible. I’d seen kids who weren’t straight get blacklisted and ridiculed at my school, and it wasn’t going to happen to me.
That summer I experienced my first intense infatuation with a guy. That confirmed that I was, indeed, attracted to men… and yet, not even two months after that, I fell for a girl. This was the first time that I knew, without a doubt, I was attracted to someone of the same gender as myself. I was terrified to come out, but I knew I was bisexual.
The summer after that year, I attended a camp for high school students that covered different types of oppression, specifically classism, racism, sexism, and heterosexism. That camp was completely life-altering, and it gave me the courage to come out. I was fourteen and about to enter my freshman year of high school. Compared to most of the LGBTQ persons I know, that’s an extremely early age to come out, but I knew it was the right decision for me.
Since then, I have gone through periods of time where all of my crushes happened to be female or male. I have also been attracted to a few transgendered individuals, and there have been times where I haven’t felt any desire, emotionally or sexually, to pursue anyone at all. So yes, I have questioned my sexual orientation multiple times since I’ve come out… but then I’ll develop feelings for another person, and it will confirm that I am, in fact, attracted to women and men. Always.
So why is it that I listened to my aunt, who is an “ally” (and, coincidentally, knows nothing of my orientation), blatantly state that there is “no such thing as bisexuality?”
Why am I referred to by some of my friends as gay, and when I correct them, they act as if terminology means nothing?
Why have my friends and family told me that I will eventually come out as completely gay?
Why have I heard gays and lesbians say “I’ll never date a bisexual?”
Why do people assume I’ll cheat on them with someone of the opposite gender?
Why do people assume I’ll find it acceptable to have a partner of each gender?
Why do people think I’m doing this for attention?
Listen.
I spent a good part of my adolescence confused as fuck, not even knowing what I was or what my feelings meant.
When I had my first experience with a girl, I felt like I was doing something wrong by being this way, by being attracted to both genders. I cut myself, burned myself, and tried to make myself throw up that night because I felt as if I needed to be punished in some way for my actions and the fact that I couldn’t “pick sides.”
And I’ve tried to pick sides.Don’t you think, if I could choose, I’d be either gay or straight, so at least I’d be left alone by ONE community?
I felt that way at one point in time, yes. I felt like it’d be easier to be straight. Hell, I even felt like it might be easier to be a lesbian.
But you know what?
I am bisexual.
I have always been bisexual.
I will always be bisexual.
And, despite what people have said and done to bring me down, I’m fucking proud.
Preach It! *clap* *clap* *clap*
