not my post; this was answered by themusethatgrewfromboredom regarding heteronormality. I’ve asked if I could reblog it and so I made it rebloggable and available for everyone to read.
Usually I respond to stupidity and ignorance with condescension, but your pompousness and arrogance pissed me off to no end. So I’m going to give you a fucking bitch-mode reply.
Here’s a PS fucking A for a dumb fucking anon, and dumb fucking people who think like him/her.
- A woman is capable of falling for another woman even if she loved a man.
- A woman is capable of falling for another woman even if she loved a man.
- A WOMAN IS CAPABLE OF FALLING FOR ANOTHER WOMAN EVEN IF SHE LOVED A MAN.
BISEXUALITY FUCKING EXISTS!
In this fucking society you are considered straight till proven gay. You know why? Because it’s the NORM to be straight. That’s where the term,heteronormality comes from. Just because that is what society thinks, doesn’t make it fucking right.
A woman can like dick, and still be attracted/fall in love with women and that is fine.
A woman can like dick, and be attracted/fall in love with only men and that is fine.
A woman can like vagina and only be attracted to women and that is fine.
A show is capable of embracing bisexual characters in their shows without devaluing their former relationships of the opposite sex. A show doesn’t have to show any implications of a woman having feelings for a woman in the fucking Pilot episode.
Not everyone is intuned with their sexuality at a young age.
You are fully capable of discovering.
It is not an unconventional thing.
Also let me fucking point out that the last two pictures aren’t fictional. Cynthia Nixon, who you might fucking know as fucking Miranda Hobbs in Sex in the City, was married to a man for fifteen fucking years, and they had a fucking child together. But now she is fucking Married to Christine Marinoni and they have fucking children together.Does that demean or devalue her relationship with her ex husband? No. Does that demean or devalue her relationship with her current wife? No!
So please, fucking anon, don’t give me that ‘they’re straight’ bullshit because I will squash that shit with the quickness. There are quite a few reasons why someone would not ship swan queen, like there are quite a few reasons not to ship any couple, BUT SEXUALITY SHOULD NOT BE ONE OF THEM BECAUSE YOUR DICK DOESN’T DEFINE MY SEXUALITY!
Now please, anon, go fuck a walrus!
Also, this goes out for males as well. Males, despite the general population and even some in the LGBTQ community may think, are capable of being bisexual as well. I did not forget that. I’m just speaking of this particular subject involving women.
Dear disgruntled player,
I find it difficult to believe that you are truly troubled by the perception that all LIs are bisexual. I know you have wrapped up your rhyme and reason in statements about realism, even providing some unsourced percentages as “fact,” but I personally find that to be a shallow argument.
I’ve seen you ask for overt signs, for declarations, so that you might know which way those characters swing, though you may not have used that exact phrase. I’ve seen you make assumptions about how a character might identify his/herself based solely on dialogue or some circumstantial clues, or on your own skewed concept of what it means to be gay, although you have never experienced any game sequence where the PC could ask the LI how he/she would define his/herself.
Find out that someone might be gay, and you may immediately think “hm, he/she does not behave like gays in media, or the gays that I know.” Sure, that might throw you for a loop. But the fact is, people are different, people are unique, people do not always wear their sexual identity on their sleeves, and even if they do, how that aspect manifests itself is not always in line with some trope.
I think this is all reactionary. I think that when you cite lack of realism, what you are trying to say is that you are uncomfortable with the idea, the concept…nay, the mere existence of people who might consider themselves bisexual. After all, what does bisexual mean? Or rather, what does it mean to you and how it affects your life?
This hearkens to those individuals who can’t quite get over the fact that their romantic partner has had an emotional and/or sexual relationship with someone of the same gender in their past. As a straight woman, does the fact that your boyfriend slept with another guy once or twice before bother you? As a straight man, does the fact that your girlfriend slept with another woman disturb you?
To that, I ask, why does it matter? Is a person to be judged solely on the relations of their past? Should we assess current or future lovers by a ratio of who they have been with in the years gone by? “Of the last 10 partners, how many were male, how many were female? Now take an average…” Is a tally of lovers something to supersede if a person is kind, or honest, or witty, or any number of qualities that speak more about the core of the person?
Perhaps, disgruntled player, you think that sexuality/sexual identity is a choice, and therefore you equate bisexuality as some sort of inconsistency, some sort of fence-straddling. A person who either can’t decide, or decides based solely on convenience. Perhaps you see that individual as someone who must be promiscuous, because clearly, the ability to sleep with both men and women must hearken to some sort of depravity, some sort of hedonism. It is the stuff of Roman bacchanalians, of orgies, of wanton behavior. Right?
To that, I would say you are grossly wrong. Human desire and affection are driven by a multitude of factors, a grand array that takes from genetic code and chemistry. But it is also driven by our backgrounds and upbringings, in that we feel able and willing to embrace who we are, once we have a handle on who that person is (and for some, this is a perpetual struggle).
Why then, are you so willing to judge and dismiss someone who simply is different from you? Because you can’t understand what makes them tick? Because you never took the time to try to understand, to view things from another perspective, to accept someone for the whole and total person that they are? Is it just easier instead to force someone into a compartment and category?
Claim that something is unrealistic, and you minimize its legitimacy. You declare it to be preposterous, fake, and false. And so when you cry foul over what may be four bisexual individuals in a game, or in a group of seven or so friends, you essentially spit upon those people for whom that is indeed a reality. You deny their existence, you laugh at it.
Maybe it’s not your reality, disgruntled player, what you are familiar with. Maybe it’s going to take some time to wrap your head around things - that the world may not work in the way that you have long believed it to. That people do not spawn out of five or six predefined molds. That people are so much more than the notches on their bedpost. That love might be more powerful than you know.
I just wish you’d come out and say it - that you’re uncomfortable or uneasy. That what truly bothers you is not some supposed fanservice or pandering or whatever crap claim you want to make, but that you don’t know, yet, how to reconcile these differences.
You might be fearful to admit your discomfort (something else that you might not be wholly willing to confess to). And that’s understandable. But perhaps if you did, perhaps if you said “this doesn’t seem right to me,” you might open up a whole new conversation that could provide a new perspective. Not necessarily to convince you, but to broaden your viewpoint. To have an exchange of words and ideas that occurs with some decency and politeness, instead of round after round of bitter and reactive ire. Maybe then, you might see why some game options and features are important to other people…and why we might see them as perfectly, and reasonably, realistic.
- a fellow player