Intent is Everything

bidyke:

tearingdownthatfence:

I posted this in a comment at the bi tumblr facebook group. I think it’s probably the best job I’ve done so far at explaining why I won’t allow any questioning of how truthful famous people are when they ID as bi, so I thought I’d post it here as well.

The reason we say there is no wrong way to be bi, and that it’s not ok to question people’s bisexuality, is that if we allow others to question on person’s bisexuality, we allow them to question all people’s bisexuality. We’re teaching them that it’s ok to not believe someone when they say they’re bi unless they can prove it - and proving it is extremely difficult.

It’s in some people’s interest to severely limit the number of people that can be considered bi, because if there are few enough of us, they don’t have to listen to us or take us seriously. I think that as soon as we allow anything but self-identification to set the limits for bisexuality, those limits become increasingly narrow until there are virtually none of us left.

For instance, the only way to really “prove” that you’re bi is to have had relationships with people of more than one gender. This leaves out people who haven’t had any relationships yet, or who just happen to have only had relationships with one particular gender, or people who have realised their sexuality only when they’re grown up and married or in an otherwise committed relationship.

But then, a lot of gay people used to think they were straight, right? Many gay men have had relationships with women but as soon as they come out, those relationships become irrelevant. So a lot of people think that only the gender of your current partner determines your sexuality. So if you’re a woman, and you’ve had relationships with women, but you’re now married to a man? You’ve chosen a side, they say. You were straight all along. If it’s the other way around, you were gay all along. So that leaves out anyone in a committed monogamous relationship.

Who’s left then? Single people, people who aren’t interested in relationships, people who cheat on their partners, and people in open or poly relationships. But these are often considered “bad” bisexuals - the proof that bisexual people can’t commit, are greedy or slutty, and can’t ever be satisfied in a monogamous relationship.

And so, in the end, they’ve defined us out of existence. Because there are no true bisexuals to them, just greedy unfaithful whores. And nobody needs to take those people seriously!

So this is why I’ll always defend the right to self-identify, and always be in favour of a bisexuality with broad definitions and vague borders.

Everyone should stop and listen to Maria.

fyqueerlatinxs:

Frida Kahlo (1907 – 1954) Mexican
Arguably Mexico’s most famous bisexual woman, Frida Kahlo is best known for her haunting self-portraits. Although she did not reach widespread fame during her life, today her art is celebrated by Mexican people in Mexico and in communities abroad for its strong links to indigenismo and for the harsh candor in which she explored femininity.

Jaime Bayly (1965 – present) Peruvian
A writer, journalist and TV personality, Jaime Bayly‘s life has been full of controversy. Beloved for his self-deprecating humor and loathed for his unrelenting self-promotion, Jaime came out to the Peruvian public as bisexual in his 1994 best-selling book No se lo Digas a Nadie (Don’t Tell Anyone). According to Perú Económico, he is the fifth most influential person in Peru, with 13 novels and a nationally syndicated column.

 

Ana Carolina (1974 – present) Brazlilian
A Latin Grammy nominated singer, composer, and musician, Ana Carolina is one of Música Popular Brasileira’s (popular Brazilian music) best known stars. Openly bisexual to her family since the age of 16, Ana Carolina famously came out to the Brazilian public in 2005 in Brazilian magazine VEJA. With 8 albums under her belt since beginning her career in 1999, Ana Carolina continues to create music, her last album N9ve reaching double-platinum status in Brazil.

Julio Bocca (1967 – present) Argentinian
Said to be the most important Argentinian dancer of all time, Julio Bocca is one of ballet’s biggest stars. With his own dance company, Ballet Argentino (which he founded in 1990), Julio performed on stages all over the world before retiring in 2007. Out as bisexual since 2001, he admits that coming out lifted a weight from his shoulders, since prior to then everyone inquired about his personal life and since then no one cares.

Raúl Esparaza (1970 – present) Cuban
A US born Cuban Broadway stage actor and singer, Raúl Esparza has been repeated nominated for the Tony Awards. He is best known for his performances as Philip Salon in Taboo and Riff Raff in the Broadway revival of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Raúl came out as bisexual to the US American public in 2006 when the subject of a New York Times profile. Raúl has since expanded on his career, with roles on the TV series Pushing Daisies and Medium.

Gabriela Mistral (1885-1957) Chilean
The first Latin American to win the Nobel Prize in Literature, Gabriela Mistral was poet, educator, and feminist. A prolific writer, Gabriela published over 800 essays in magazines and newspapers throughout Latin America and the world. Although her bisexuality was not confirmed in her lifetime, scholars of her poetry and works point to underlying themes of female eroticism to support the notion that Gabriela was in fact bisexual.

Jaime Saenz (1921-1986) Bolivian
One of the greats of Bolivian literature, Jaime Saenz was a poet, novelist, and writer of short stories. Known for his dark poetry that is often described as hallucinatory and transcendent, Jaime was openly bisexual and unashamed of it. His poetry is studied in Latin America for its strong ties to the indigenous culture(s) of La Paz, where he lived his entire life.

(Source: xqsimagazine.com)