i am a bisexual, not tinkerbell. just because you don’t believe in me doesn’t mean i’m going away.
*choir of angels descends from the heavens* “bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders and non-bisexuals need to fucking stop saying otherwise~”
I said, "What if they say they’re gay?" He was gay, by the way.
He said, "Oh, in that case, we just talk about whatever they came to me for."
Amy Andre in “Nothing About Us Without Us” from her speech on problems of Physical Health in the Bisexual Community, at a bisexual roundtable on 23 September 2013 in Washington DC USA (via bialogue-group)
It’s this shit right here that gets me so fucking mad at people who trivialise biphobia and monosexism by saying shit like “oh the worst you get is people thinking you are confused and greedy”, as if those stereotypes has no real consequences for bisexuals.
This is a fucking therapist, a man in charge of helping people overcome mental health issues and trauma, admitting freely that he and his colleagues treat bisexuality as if it is a mental health problem and a symptom of mental disturbance to be treated and cured.
He is telling a bi woman that he does treat gay people the same way and I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t treat straight folks that way, he is singling out bisexuals because he thinks there is something wrong with us identifying that way, because we are, in his mind, confused.
It makes me sick to think that he is making clients doubt and dissect their own sexuality, blamed their bisexuality for their mental state, told them that bisexuality was a symptom or something to take centre-stage over everything because he thinks it’s not as natural or mentally healthy as monosexuality.
This attitude towards bisexuality is endemic to the medical health industry, especially mental health, which is already a problematic field given how much stigma is attached to mental illness.
So many times I hear bisexuals express their anger at being told by qualified therapists and doctors that they were confused, greedy and/or unstable and therefore had to jump through pointless hoops, longer and more invasive therapy sessions, or even worse, threatened with having treatment withheld or taken in a direction completely different from monosexuals because “it’s all in their heads” or “just doing it for attention”. All because the person in charge takes Freud a little too seriously and/or believes all the shitty stereotypes that seem ever so trivial and not worth combatting to biphobia-deniers.
And people wonder why bisexuals don’t come out to health professionals? They wonder why we don’t come out at all? They wonder why bisexuals have a rate of suicide and poor health way above straight and gay people?
Don’t ever tell me that is trivial. Bisexuals die because of these stereotypes, they are killed by these so-called mental health professionals telling them that they need to be cured by denying themselves and are erased after death by monosexism. Fuck everyone who doesn’t think that’s worth caring about. (via a-little-bi-furious)
Small reminder of WHY we need out informed Bisexual People at ALL LGBT Health Conferences
I don’t think the comment “bisexuals have straight privilege unless they’re in lesbian relationships” makes any more sense than saying “lesbians have straight privilege while they’re single”. This makes the assumption that all bisexuals who are single or in opposite-sex relationships actively hide their sexual orientation.
If a gay woman keeps her sexual identity secret while she’s single in order to avoid discrimination, we don’t accuse her of co-opting straight privilege – we sympathize with her for feeling the need to closet herself. So why the double standard for bisexuals?
It might not apply to you, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t straight-looking femme lesbians, or androgynous-looking, rainbow-wearing, alternative-haircut-having bisexuals. My point is that that comment oversimplifies and overgeneralizes things in a way that seems unreasonable to me. Chandra on Autostraddle (via my-drop-is-full-of-tree-branches)
I used to be married to a woman. Before that I had had a relationship with a man. I then had another relationship with a woman, and I since then have had relationships with men. I still would define myself as bisexual partly because that’s how I feel but also because I think it’s important to — I think sexuality in this country especially is seen as a very black and white thing, and I think we should encourage the gray. You know?
I don’t go around in my life thinking, “Oh, my God, I’m going to have to have sex with a woman soon because I said I was bisexual!” … It’s like saying you’re straight or you’re gay — it’s just what you are, and whatever you’re doing in your life it runs obviously parallel, but it’s kind of secondary to how you are inside. That’s how I’ve always felt, and I still do, even though I’m very happily married to a really amazing man and wish to be so for the rest of my life. Alan Cumming from an interview on NPR’s Fresh Air (via albinwonderland)
also will take this moment to talk about how damaging the ‘teenage bisexual girl phase’ stigma is; it was very difficult for me to know i was queer through the ages of 13-16, and i was not comfortable discussing it for worry that it would be seen as attention seeking, just trying to stand out, just being cool, etc. it’s a really really shit stigma and i think that we need to work together to stop invalidating preference development in young girls.
today is bisexual awareness day. be aware of bisexuals. they are out there, and they are dangerous.
the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both
Well it’s the Bible, not the Straightble, I’m just following the book.
I’M GONNA CRY
1. Thinking about the people you’ve been attracted to, so far in your life, were they all of the same gender?
If you answered “No”, to any or all of the questions in our list above then we feel it’s okay for you to call yourself bisexual.
I like the way this is phrased. “We feel it’s okay for you to call yourself bisexual”. Not “you are bisexual” because that takes away your agency in deciding whether that is true for you or not. A lot of “how to figure out your sexuality” guides do that, and I’ve always hated it. So it’s good to see this. (via jadelyn)
It’s also very easy to understand, gently humorous but right on point. Too many places make such a deal! over-complicating and dramatizing everything. When really, it’s not. Once that "aha!" moment passes, it quickly becomes everyday, very much yes whatever and essentially boringly normal. Which is exactly as it should be.
Writing off the word “bisexual” as exclusionary means cutting ties with bisexuals who were romantically and sexually involved with people of more than two genders decades before we were even born, and whom were forced to struggle and fight for recognition, only to now be othered as oppressors who aren’t “queer enough” for young gays, lesbians, and pansexuals.
Part of a Very Long History of hetero (& homo) normative cisgender monosexuals ignoring anything actual bisexual people had to say for and about themselves, inventing amazingly screwy definitions and creating new terms (i.e. ambisexual in 1912, omnisexual in 1959, pansexual in 1917, etc., etc., etc.) that they then imposed on bisexual people no matter what we said.
The question is, do they think that by slicing, dicing and redefining us, bisexuals will actually go away forever?
Or are we just supposed to get confused & discouraged and go away long enough for them to use our statistics and numbers while they scoop up all the grant funding, jobs, tenured teaching positions, groups and programs and other goodies?